AN ARTICLE BY: AKINADE TEMIDAYO JACOB.
Being Unfaithful has become a norm in our society of today and hence,it seldom baffles me when I come across videos,pictures or publications these days which shows married couples found wanting on issues relating to this. The cases of promiscuity,especially in marriages has escalated in recent times and one cannot continue to to pretend not to be aware of this development that continues eating deep into homes like corruption eating into the economy of a third world country.
To start with,Promiscuity is an act involving indiscriminate mingling or association,especially having sexual relation with a number of partners on a casual basis (A definition from Google search). From the definition, I personally wouldn’t have a problem or lose a sleep over unmarried people who are promiscuous (Religious wise,this is also a sin,however, I’d love to make this article 100% secular).When this scandalous act involves married people,then there’s a need for a clarion call to orderliness because,with marriage,it is a different ball game where oaths are taken on holy fronts and vows are expected to be both sacred and respected.
My attention has been drawn to a particular story I received via whatsapp on Monday,13th of March,2017 of a man who had been happily married for a long time with a perfect wife and three kids as his children(so he thought),he however found out that two out of the children weren’t his when he had an opportunity of moving to the United States with his family after winning the visa lottery and the DNA result showed only one of the children as his. Bad enough,the story went on to reveal the other two children had two different fathers!!!!Yes,you heard me right. Would this have happened if the woman in question wasn’t promiscuous?Absolutely Not!!!
The African way of thinking favors men being unfaithful in their marriage and walk away scot free without stigma of any sort but the opposite is the case when it comes to the women who are tagged ‘disgrace to womanhood’ at every slight opportunity to cast a stone at them. This should not be so,Promiscuity should be treated as totally forbidden and unacceptable regardless the gender involved. I refer to the comment of a friend while discussing this issue on a Whatsapp group page who said ‘I’m glad more women are cheating now because men feel women too don’t get tempted to cheat’.This to me is simply good riddance to bad rubbish as an eye for an eye would only leave the world with blind people.
WHAT IS THE WAY FORWARD??
A friend suggested that married men should do their homework well when it comes to lovemaking to their wives(explore during sex,last longer,do everything to please your woman even if she requests oral sex). A woman once said in a seminar ‘my husband isn’t sexually proficient,he just lies on me,cums and that’s it’. From the trend,we see that most cases of promiscuity in marriages arises from the incapability of one of the spouse to spark up a good sexual prowess during lovemaking.But then the question arises,what about married people who has a great sexual life and still cheat? One cannot over emphasize the importance of good sex in marriages,but then,what happened to those times where love was simply enough for one to be committed to their marriages regardless the deficiency of a good sexual life?
Staying faithful in marriage has become an uphill task in our world today for some of the following reasons;
Refusal/failure to draw a line between and opposite sex when married.
Temperament(Sanguines,phlegmatics,Cholerics…this would be extensively discussed in the next arrticle).
Lack of communication at home.
Peer pressure(Bad company corrupts good manners).
Desire to explore(especially when motivated by things seen on TV these days).
Finally,to curb and drastically reduce the incidence of people raising children they thought to be theirs,i suggest there should be a law that enforces doctors and other medical practitioners to carry out DNA tests of a father and the child immediately after delivery.This,to a very appreciable extent will reduce the rate of sexual indecency and promiscuity in marriages.